Practicing Gratitude
The idea of gratitude practice has been touted by experts in many fields, and is largely agreed to be beneficial to mental health, physical health, relationships, and overall well-being. From Oprah’s encouragement to start a gratitude journal in the 90s to more recent neuroscience use of MRIs and empirical studies about gratitude intervention, it’s clear there is something to this gratitude idea. But what does it mean to practice gratitude and what are the actual benefits?
First of all, practicing gratitude is not exactly the same as saying thank you. Even though that is part of it.
Gratitude can be defined as a trait, a state of being, a value, and a moral.
(McGuire et al., 2021)
“Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and to others”
It can be HARD to feel grateful for anything some days. Yet if we can bring up some grateful feelings, we can change our moods. When we overflow with gratitude, we spread joy and love to those we come into contact with. We can combat depression, anxiety, and foreboding joy through developing a gratitude practice.
Gratitude practice is actually a pretty well researched topic, and while it may seem abstract there are tangible activities that can be done to start experiencing the benefits from wherever your starting point is.
The key is, we have to practice the gratitude to make it a thing in our lives.
When we make it a daily practice, it becomes a part of who we are and that appreciation for the small things in life spills over into accepting the harder parts of living. It also becomes easier to access happier memories and emotions in times of stress or uncertainty.
How can we create a gratitude practice?
Start small - think of anything at all to be grateful for. A sunny sky, a body that can move, eyes that can see. Look around and find something and say to yourself, I am grateful for this body that can move today.
Write it down - there is a reason why gratitude journals are a thing! Start with jotting down 3 things you are grateful for every day. This might sound cheesy but it works! Use point form, full sentences, write any way you like. The important thing to just do it and make it a habit. First thing in the morning, or at bedtime. Set a reminder and do it. I recommend using paper and pretty pens but an electronic note will do.
More writing - thank you cards or notes can create connection and positive vibes for both you and the recipient. It can be a thank you for an actual thing like picking up your kids from school when you had a migraine, or a general appreciation text to your bff or mother.
Say it out loud - to yourself and to others. Tell yourself you are grateful. Say Thank You to the universe for whatever it is you appreciate - Thank you for the grass, Thank you for the fresh air, Thank you for coffee. Just say it. And tell someone else you appreciate them - bonus points when it’s someone who you don’t know well. The self-check out supervisor who hurried a little quicker than usual to help you out. The barista who remade the coffee that they made wrong the first time. Little moments of expressing gratitude and appreciation can trick your grouchy body into being a little lighter and calmer.
Learn more - find yourself some books, audiobooks, podcasts, blogs about gratitude. Check who you are following on social media and fill your feeds with others who are practicing gratitude and working on personal growth. It is easier to do better when we surround ourselves with those who are inspiring to us.
Try something different - Dr Huberman discusses an alternative and supposedly more effective way of practicing gratitude. According to his findings through neuroscience research, we can actually benefit more from recalling a time when we have been on the receiving end of genuine, sincere gratitude. He also talks about the benefits of watching or hearing a story about someone else’s gratitude experience. He goes into quite a bit of detail about this in a podcast episode. If the common and typical gratitude practices don’t work for you, it may help to look into what other ideas are out there.
Is this hard to do? Sometimes we all have to fake it til we make it. If you have to pretend to be grateful, start there. Be kind to yourself and notice that it is hard for you. If you can’t find anything you might find it helpful to start with a grounding exercise. Take note of your surroundings. Breathe a little deeper. Drop your shoulders. What can you see, hear, smell around you? Put your feet on the ground, ideally barefeet and ideally outside (if you are lucky to not have snow at the moment). Feel your feelings. Look around. Be grateful for the breath in your lungs. Psychologists assure us we can’t actually lie to ourselves, but we can dig deeper and look a little further to find something that works.
If it’s really really hard to find 1-3 things to be grateful for in a day, maybe that’s something to explore with a counsellor who can dig in with you and walk you through what it is that is keeping you stuck.
Gratitude practice is beneficial for all ages: Children have been found to have increased levels of gratitude and well-being after participating in gratitude interventions such as journaling and writing cards (Hall et al., 2024)
Multiple studies have found mental and physical health benefits associated with a gratitude practice. Our relationships benefit from gratitude - think about how nice it feels to be appreciated for even the little things we do. Taking the time to say thank you to a partner, friend, parent, child, on a regular basis can strengthen our bonds and make our loved ones feel good. When we engage in gratitude on a regular basis we also strengthen our ability to be resilient even in future times of adversity. Living in a state of gratitude also causes us to be more patient, kind, and generous to others.
Practicing gratitude has led me to feel a lot more comfortable living in the moment. And I’m not the only one: this is a common experience for many people who have previously experienced anxiety, foreboding joy, and depression through a gratitude practice.
“In our research we found that everyone who showed a deep capacity for joy had one thing in common: They practiced gratitude. In the midst of joy, there is often a quiver, a shudder of vulnerability. Rather than using that as a warning sign to practice imagining the worst case scenario, the people who lean into joy use the quiver as a reminder to practice gratitude.” (Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart, p. 215)
“I know for sure that appreciating whatever shows up for you in life changes your personal vibration. You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots”
Reflection questions
In what ways do you practice gratitude?
How has gratitude influenced your life?
Contributed by Ellery, BSW Practicum Student.
Resources
Brown. B. (2021). Atlas of the heart. Random House.
Hall, A. H., Bache-Wiig, G., & White, K. M. (2024). Exploring the Impact of Gratitude Practice as a Protective Factor for Young Children. Early Childhood Education Journal. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10643-023-01623-3
Harbaugh, C. N., & Vasey, M. W. (2014). When do people benefit from gratitude practice? The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(6), 535–546. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.927905
Huberman, A. (Host). (2021, November 21). The science of gratitude and how to build a gratitude practice [Audio podcast episode]. On Huberman Lab. Scicomm Media. The Science of Gratitude & How to Build a Gratitude Practice - Huberman Lab
McGuire, A. P., Fogle, B. M., Tsai, J., Southwick, S. M., & Pietrzak, R. H. (2021). Dispositional gratitude and mental health in the U.S. veteran population: Results from the National Health and Resilience Veterans Study. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 135, 279–288. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2021.01.020
Winfrey, O. (n.d.). What Oprah knows for sure about gratitude. Retrieved April 9, 2024 from Oprah's Gratitude Journal - Oprah on Gratitude.
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